Ways in which proofing pages at home is different from proofing them in an office
1. Editors are known to get cranky on deadline, but they don't scream and cry until you hold them on your lap and allow them to bang on your desk with your hairbrush.
2. They do not use your red pen to draw pictures on page proofs when your back is turned.
3. At work, you usually proof pages sitting at your desk or maybe a nearby table. You don't do it on a toy-covered couch, holding a baby in one arm, a red pen in the other, and listening to "King Bidgood's in the Bathtub" on iTunes.
4. They do not stop you while you are working to ask you to read "Horton Hears a Who."
5. While copy editors do revere the AP Style Book, they do not climb up into your chair, flip your copy open, and request that you read the entry on "comptroller, controller" to them while you are attempting to edit.
6. You don't have to take care of feeding, dressing, and handling all personal hygiene functions for your office-mates before you can start work for the day.
7. They don't usually ask if they can dip their granola bar in your coffee.
8. You don't have to get up from your editing to let the dog out. And then in. And then stop your co-workers from dumping all the kibble out of the food bowl into the water bowl.
9. At work, your co-workers don't take advantage of the fact that you are focused on editing to attempt to play with things that they are Not Allowed to Touch. You don't have to discipline them and then hold them and wipe away their tears.
10. When your office co-workers have a cold, they use a hankie or a tissue to blow their noses; they do not wait until their upper lip is covered in goop, then climb into your lap and rub their snotty faces all over your shoulder.
So proofing pages today took me a little longer than I thought it would. But hey, it all got done. Plus, I'm getting really good at writing with one hand.
2. They do not use your red pen to draw pictures on page proofs when your back is turned.
3. At work, you usually proof pages sitting at your desk or maybe a nearby table. You don't do it on a toy-covered couch, holding a baby in one arm, a red pen in the other, and listening to "King Bidgood's in the Bathtub" on iTunes.
4. They do not stop you while you are working to ask you to read "Horton Hears a Who."
5. While copy editors do revere the AP Style Book, they do not climb up into your chair, flip your copy open, and request that you read the entry on "comptroller, controller" to them while you are attempting to edit.
6. You don't have to take care of feeding, dressing, and handling all personal hygiene functions for your office-mates before you can start work for the day.
7. They don't usually ask if they can dip their granola bar in your coffee.
8. You don't have to get up from your editing to let the dog out. And then in. And then stop your co-workers from dumping all the kibble out of the food bowl into the water bowl.
9. At work, your co-workers don't take advantage of the fact that you are focused on editing to attempt to play with things that they are Not Allowed to Touch. You don't have to discipline them and then hold them and wipe away their tears.
10. When your office co-workers have a cold, they use a hankie or a tissue to blow their noses; they do not wait until their upper lip is covered in goop, then climb into your lap and rub their snotty faces all over your shoulder.
So proofing pages today took me a little longer than I thought it would. But hey, it all got done. Plus, I'm getting really good at writing with one hand.
3 comments:
Oh my goodness! That sounds much like me trying to grade papers with all my "helpers." I've had to give papers back with crayon marks on them. Fortunately, my students find this very amusing.
Oooh! You can get "King Bidgood's in the Bathtub" on iTunes? My at-home editors will be thrilled! :)
Here's another one: When on a work call, your editors don't usually crawl up next to you, stick the fingers of their right hand in their mouth, force their left arm into your sleeve to clutch your elbow, and then burrow their heads into your shoulder, humming happily, until your conversation is concluded. My younger at-home editor is prone to this particular action.
Yes, my editorial assistants need a crash course in office etiquette, too. Especially when they're having a screaming match over who gets to play with a particular train while I'm trying to find a place in the house where the author I'm on the phone with can't hear the squabble....
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